Mom, What Do You REALLY Want for Mother's Day?
It's one of those questions that should be asked but never is: if you're a mom, what do you really want for Mother's Day?
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I've been a mom for the better part of six years now but I am not a fan of Mother's Day.
I know, I should grateful there's a day celebrating all that's good and wholesome about being a mom but I'm not.
I think it has something to do with the fact that everyone assumes Mother's Day is about celebrating the relationship with your kids. It's not.
I figured this out the first Mother's Day after I gave birth to twins. All I wanted to do that day was be alone - no crying babies to interrupt my thoughts, no one to barge in on me in the bathroom, no one to prevent me from eating a meal while it was still hot. I didn't think that was too much to ask.
Mom, in all truthfulness, what do you really want for Mother's Day this year? Tell us in the comments.
But that day, as I sat in a squishy chair at my neighborhood Barnes & Noble, sipping my coffee and reading a book (which I hadn't been able to do successfully in more than two years), I was approached by an older woman asking if the chair next to me was occupied. We started chit-chatting about the weather, the book I was reading, what I was drinking, etc. and then she asked if I had children.
"Yes, three of them, all under the age of 2," I said proudly, and clearly sleep-deprived.
"Oh, my. You have your hands full," she said. "Where are they now?"
I explained that it was my day off and that all I really wanted was some time to myself. She looked at me with this look that suggested she didn't approve of my decision to step away from life, if only for a few hours.
I felt bad. I questioned whether what I was doing that day meant that I was abandoning my family. "Maybe I should have just stayed home and spent time with the kids?" I thought.
This weekend, four years after that first Mother's Day as a mom of three, I realize that I want exactly the same thing this year that I wanted then - time.
As mothers, we give so much of ourselves to our families. Our priorities change in the biggest way when we have children. No longer are we number 1, or even number 2 on the list. No, now we're often the last to eat, shower, go to the doctor when we're sick, get a new pair of shoes. We often delay haircuts, new clothes and nights out because someone else comes first. That's just the way it is.
This Mother's Day, I don't want flowers or candy. I don't need a new toaster or dishes. I just want time to be me again. I want to eat lunch without being asked for more ketchup or juice instead of milk. I want someone to give me a pedicure without expecting that I will paint their toes too. I want to sit and laugh and gossip with my girlfriends on a patio somewhere while someone else pours the drinks. That's all I want.
So for all you moms out there, in all truthfulness, what do you really want for Mother's Day this year? Tell us in the comments.
Jen
10:51 am on Friday, May 11, 2012
I am so glad I am not alone. On my first mother's day with two kids (they were 21 months & 6 months) I told my husband that I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to sit in the backyard and read...uninterrupted. I think he was a little shocked by my request and I instantly felt like my desire was somehow not "mommy-like". I felt really guilty. But as my confidence grew in my parenting and I became more comfortable with who I was as a mother, I realized that my request was not bad at all. I stay home with my kids full-time, so if Mother's Day is really about me, then I need to take the day to recharge myself so I can be the best mom for my kids. I think commercials and magazines would have you think that Mother's Day is all about snuggling & card making, sweet moments and butterflies. And although you do get some of those moments, it is a lot of tantrum throwing, lunch-requesting, tattling, and general weird sound-making. Just like every other day of the year. I have started a tradition with some of my other mom friends where we get together and do things we NEVER have time to do normally. Get breakfast, pedicures, and sit on a patio on a beautiful day and drink margaritas. It is our personal celebration of what great mothers we are every other day of the year.
Emily C
10:58 am on Friday, May 11, 2012
I really like spending the day with my kids, husband, and my parents - we do it every year. We do low-key, usually active, outdoorsy things that don't require a lot of supervision or decisionmaking, and the others do any food prep and cleanup. It's the perfect celebration for me!
Sarah Spear Cook
11:49 am on Friday, May 11, 2012
This year I have it planned where I will spend time with my son in the morning and then have the afternoon to myself. I'm hoping this works well!
Nichole McDowell
11:51 am on Friday, May 11, 2012
I want a full-fledged, real day off. I want to be the one who gets to sleep instead of being the one to get up with my daughter at 6 a.m. I want to get one day of not making any decisions, regardless of how small that decision is. I don't want to wipe one single bottom. I don't want to deal with any food preparation. I don't want to clean up any mess. I want one day for me. Just me. Just one day.
However, due to the demands and constraints of my husband's job, that isn't going to happen. It'll be a day just like any other. So I am hoping for one day with no whining or crying. (That's totally realistic,right? )
Melinda Hansen
11:58 am on Friday, May 11, 2012
My daughter has a soccer tournament this weekend. When I first heard that she would have a tournament on MOTHER'S DAY, I was not pleased. That was supposed to be the day to focus on me. Like the other posters, I love my children, but I also appreciate time alone, time with my friends, and time with my husband. So, in the last week, I've spent two nights with girlfriends, and my husband and I have dinner dates with different couples tonight and tomorrow night. I usually don't spend so many nights away from my children, but, now I'm really looking forward to spending Saturday and Sunday with them at the soccer tournament. It was a perfect solution for me.
Amy Dix
12:03 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Day to myself to decompress lets me unwind, be in my thoughts and then by the end of the day I cannot wait to see them! We will grill dinner together and play in the backyard. That is my perfect day :)
Angela Miale
4:19 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
I want nothing. Literally nothing. I have everything in life I have ever wanted. I want to bask in my own contentment.