Mom, What Do You REALLY Want for Mother's Day?

It's one of those questions that should be asked but never is: if you're a mom, what do you really want for Mother's Day?

I've been a mom for the better part of six years now but I am not a fan of Mother's Day.

I know, I should grateful there's a day celebrating all that's good and wholesome about being a mom but I'm not.

I think it has something to do with the fact that everyone assumes Mother's Day is about celebrating the relationship with your kids. It's not.

I figured this out the first Mother's Day after I gave birth to twins. All I wanted to do that day was be alone - no crying babies to interrupt my thoughts, no one to barge in on me in the bathroom, no one to prevent me from eating a meal while it was still hot. I didn't think that was too much to ask.

Mom, in all truthfulness, what do you really want for Mother's Day this year? Tell us in the comments.

But that day, as I sat in a squishy chair at my neighborhood Barnes & Noble, sipping my coffee and reading a book (which I hadn't been able to do successfully in more than two years), I was approached by an older woman asking if the chair next to me was occupied. We started chit-chatting about the weather, the book I was reading, what I was drinking, etc. and then she asked if I had children.

"Yes, three of them, all under the age of 2," I said proudly, and clearly sleep-deprived.

"Oh, my. You have your hands full," she said. "Where are they now?"

I explained that it was my day off and that all I really wanted was some time to myself. She looked at me with this look that suggested she didn't approve of my decision to step away from life, if only for a few hours.

I felt bad. I questioned whether what I was doing that day meant that I was abandoning my family. "Maybe I should have just stayed home and spent time with the kids?" I thought.

This weekend, four years after that first Mother's Day as a mom of three, I realize that I want exactly the same thing this year that I wanted then - time.

As mothers, we give so much of ourselves to our families. Our priorities change in the biggest way when we have children. No longer are we number 1, or even number 2 on the list. No, now we're often the last to eat, shower, go to the doctor when we're sick, get a new pair of shoes. We often delay haircuts, new clothes and nights out because someone else comes first. That's just the way it is.

This Mother's Day, I don't want flowers or candy. I don't need a new toaster or dishes. I just want time to be me again. I want to eat lunch without being asked for more ketchup or juice instead of milk. I want someone to give me a pedicure without expecting that I will paint their toes too. I want to sit and laugh and gossip with my girlfriends on a patio somewhere while someone else pours the drinks. That's all I want.  

So for all you moms out there, in all truthfulness, what do you really want for Mother's Day this year? Tell us in the comments.

Sarah Spear Cook May 11, 2012 at 04:49 PM
This year I have it planned where I will spend time with my son in the morning and then have the afternoon to myself. I'm hoping this works well!
Nichole McDowell May 11, 2012 at 04:51 PM
I want a full-fledged, real day off. I want to be the one who gets to sleep instead of being the one to get up with my daughter at 6 a.m. I want to get one day of not making any decisions, regardless of how small that decision is. I don't want to wipe one single bottom. I don't want to deal with any food preparation. I don't want to clean up any mess. I want one day for me. Just me. Just one day. However, due to the demands and constraints of my husband's job, that isn't going to happen. It'll be a day just like any other. So I am hoping for one day with no whining or crying. (That's totally realistic,right? )
Melinda Hansen May 11, 2012 at 04:58 PM
My daughter has a soccer tournament this weekend. When I first heard that she would have a tournament on MOTHER'S DAY, I was not pleased. That was supposed to be the day to focus on me. Like the other posters, I love my children, but I also appreciate time alone, time with my friends, and time with my husband. So, in the last week, I've spent two nights with girlfriends, and my husband and I have dinner dates with different couples tonight and tomorrow night. I usually don't spend so many nights away from my children, but, now I'm really looking forward to spending Saturday and Sunday with them at the soccer tournament. It was a perfect solution for me.
Amy Dix May 11, 2012 at 05:03 PM
Day to myself to decompress lets me unwind, be in my thoughts and then by the end of the day I cannot wait to see them! We will grill dinner together and play in the backyard. That is my perfect day :)
Angela Miale May 11, 2012 at 09:19 PM
I want nothing. Literally nothing. I have everything in life I have ever wanted. I want to bask in my own contentment.


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